As I write little Asher is asleep.
Asleep with no brace on his right arm and a mark on his forehead from falling yesterday and sacrificing his head to save his arm.
The occupational therapist came yesterday with news from the doctor.
We were to start being more aggressive with his range of motion exercises and he was to stop wearing his brace day and night. Originally he was suppose to wear it for 6 months at night.
I have been taking the brace off more and more but I wasn't expecting that.
During therapy we let him play most of the time then we had to stretch his little arm.
Push it down toward his side.
We were "being more aggressive".
He cried hard. I mean hard.
The kind of cry where there's no sound for a period of time and his lips turn blue.
When we finished I had tears in my eyes and Jessica, the occupational therapist, said, "Don't do that or you'll make me cry."
She teared up too.
She said it would be good if I tried to do an aggressive stretch 3 times a day.
What a hard thing to ask a mother.
To hurt her baby? man!
I stretched him this morning. The aggressive stretch.
He cried again, no sound, blue lips, and I thought he might pass out.
I held him hoping he wouldn't hate me when this was all over and hoping he wouldn't remember any of it.
He let me hold him and didn't act like he hated me.
He hasn't had the brace on since yesterday morning.
Today he actually walked some without holding his right arm but he was hunched over like a little old man.
This has been one of the hardest and longest trials of my life and it's not over which in a way makes it harder.
But please don't feel sorry for us because we have also received some of the best blessings.
I used to look at families with children that "weren't perfect" and think something like that would never happen to me and think it must be hard for them.
I only truly understand now what a blessing it is.