The school shooting and a lesson on death

My boys are familiar with guns.
Heath has taken them shooting with a small gun that grandpa has.
They sit in Heath's lap but even Asher (not quite 4) shoots it.
I wasn't sure how I felt about it for maybe like a second.
Heath is really good with them and very safe. 
You might have a different opinion and that's fine.
I'm not here to debate...just blog.

Anyway, what I'm getting to is the school shooting that happened a few weeks ago.
We don't have T.V.
Well, we have a T.V that we watch movies on but we don't have cable or anything so we don't get the channels.
Maybe needless to say but I don't really watch the news.
That's something else we could debate about and you could say I live in a bubble and call me an idiot but again...not here to debate, just blog.
So, I heard about the shooting from a neighbor.
and I honestly thought "man, glad I don't have the news" (no name calling, be nice)
I heard they played footage of it over and over and over which was very disturbing for some kids.
Noah's school sent a note home about good ways to talk to your children about it.
So, last night I finally decided that I would tell them about it.
No, I don't want my children to live in a bubble but I hold my home sacred and want to make it a place of peace and comfort to come home to.
There is enough in the world that they will get influenced by when they are outside of our home.
So, this morning I told them about the shooting.
I started out by telling them what an elementary school was (a school like Noah goes to)
I said, "you know how there's good guys and bad guys?"
they said yes
and then they said 'but there are always good guys' (I was glad they knew that)
(Even if it's only one hiding for his life to fulfill the work of the Lord...Moroni) ...sorry side note
I told them that a bad guy went into a school with a gun and killed kids and teachers.
I could tell by the look on their face that they were taken back and concerned (or scared)
Then I talked to them about how we lived with Heavenly Father before we came to earth and how he has a plan for us and part of that plan was death.
I told them we don't need to be scared of death because when we die we go to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus and it.is.AWESOME!
They smiled
I told them that when all our family dies we get to be together FOREVER!
still smiles
how comforting!
I told them people die at different aged because of different things but as long as we choose the right we get to be in the AWESOME place. We don't need to be scared.

I'm glad that I have that knowledge and I can share it with my children.
Not living in a bubble but in comfort and peace in a crazy world.

"Through the eyes of faith, confidence replaces fear."
-Henry B. Eyring (is that how you spell that?)

Something that was said in church yesterday...help your children develop communication with the heavens.   It was said a lot better...I'll have to look up the talk. 

A picture for your enterainment.

This is me and my sister-in-law, Lacey.

There are a lot of reason I like this picture.

-Lacey is not a runner and decided to run a few weeks before the race and she finished

-This was a color run where they threw color powder of some sort at us while running. Then we threw it at each other at the end.

-I have lost more weight 

-we made our t-shirts

-and I like Lacey

done with facebook and 2012 in a nut shell

If you haven't noticed, I quit facebook.
felt the need to focus on things that matter most and facebook was not one of them.
So, I hope the people that matter most to me will keep up with my family on this blog.

Here's some catching up.

I spilled some wheat berries when I was transferring them to my bucket. She was right in the middle in no time.

In July (just before she turned 1) she had a spot removed from her head. They said it was fatty mole and had more of chance of becoming cancerous than other moles. They said we didn't have to get it taken off now but could wait a few years. I wanted to do it then so she wouldn't  really remember it and her hair was already short so it wouldn't matter much. Because of everything Asher has gone through I wasn't too nervous about her going under. 

I call it the Harry Potter scar. Now it's mostly covered by hair. After the surgery I buzzed her head with a #5. It was a lot bigger then he explained it would be and then I was expecting. I'm easy though.

I haven't been too good about the kids in the birthday chair. This is Hannah on her 1st birthday. Don't mind the mess...this is erin in real life.

 This picture is just because she's stinkin' cute!

Halloween

Because she's cute!

Ok, there's a little bit on Hannah's first year. She's going to wonder what happened.

this is Asher wearing his floaties for a water balloon fight. He was sure he needed them. 

Oh, did I mention Heath is a teacher, an art teacher.

We go up to the school sometimes and the boys make sculptures and bowls and things. 

this is Asher at the school.

This is Asher with cream cheese all over his face. He was having a snack and apparently he wasn't under close supervision. I asked him why and he said because he wants to be Santa for Halloween.

somebody else wasn't under supervision either. 

The only picture I got of his 6th birthday. Mom of the year right here! How did he get to be 6 anyway!

The boys carving pumpkins on Halloween.

Halloween. Both boys were Batman.

My first raw pie EVER! It was for Thanksgiving and actually pretty good. 

A neighbor was taking care of this for someone. 1960 ish Volkswagen bus. It was pretty awesome.

Heath took me on a date for my birthday. He borrowed a motorcycle. It was just like the good ol' days.

And there's 2012 in a nut shell from my phone. I know lame. I'll have to see if Heath has any good pictures on his phone :)

Almost lost him! And I got a video on safety and a children's book about private parts.

It was Tuesday.
not yesterday but a week ago.
Noah asked if he could play with friends.
I said yes but if they were not home or couldn't play to come back.
No one could play so he came back each time.
He played the Wii for a little while and I guess got bored.
From the back of the house I heard "the mail is here" and the door open then close.
I came to the front room and asked Asher if Noah had gone out side. He said yes.
I did one small thing then headed outside.
I called for him but no answer.
I figured he was going to see if someone could play and just spaced telling me (as he sometimes does)
I didn't go looking for him right away.
I loaded the kids into the van and started around the neighborhood.
You need to understand that our neighborhood is a very friendly neighborhood.
We go to church with most the people in it and it does actually feel very safe.
Anyway, so I started around the neighborhood stopping at houses were I thought he would be.
no luck
then I started stopping at house where I didn't really think he'd be but maybe be.
no luck.
then I knocked on a few doors of people I sort of knew but that I didn't really think Noah would go to
no luck.
I was about 1 hour into the search.
And others in my neighborhood had started looking for him too.
I called Heath and told him I couldn't find Noah.
He came home and started to look in the field behind our neighborhood and in places that i thought were a little strange.
Then I lost it.
I started to get nervous and scared, my mind started to think up all kinds of crazy scenarios and I started to cry.
I guess I was a little nervous the entire time looking but now it seemed all too real.
A friend asked if I had called the police.
I had not.
By this time the kids in the neighborhood (and there are a lot of kids) and some parents were going through the neighborhood.
I asked Heath if I should call the police.
He said that it was probably time.
I had a prayer in my heart the entire time.
I wanted him to show up or think to come and check in with me or something.
I called the police.
The 911 lady stayed on the phone with me until the police got there.
It was hard to even talk without crying.
While talking to her, she asked if there was a pool in the area. I said there was.
She asked if i checked it. I had walked past it but there was a cover on it.
I asked her if I should have checked under the cover,
there was a pause.
I don't think I could bear it.
The police got there at that point so she didn't have to answer but I already knew the answer.
While the police were talking to me (2 hours plus into the search)
I was thinking how could this happen to us.
My prayer changed from asking to find him to telling Heavenly Father I wanted His will to be done but I asked that if I couldn't have him anymore that we would find him dead and that I would rather have that over someone taking him who knows where doing who knows what to him.
I don't know if that makes me a bad mom but that is how I truly felt.
A little hard to swallow?
Not too long later my neighbor who had been out looking on his bike came back with Noah.
Noah was crying and Ben (the neighbor) said he started crying when he saw him and said "i forgot to ask my mom!"
He had been playing at a house that was almost directly behind ours.
some people we really didn't know too well and he was playing inside.
I wasn't mad at him.
Although, I did feel a little like I wanted to punish him for putting me through that.
He was worked up with everyone outside and the police there so i took him inside to make sure nothing had happened to him while he was in that house.

I wanted to share this for two reason....One is that it's free therapy and Two to tell you some things we were watching and reading just before this happened.
I bought this video about strangers. (I found one, i think an older copy, on half.com for $.99)
I think it is great for the kids and helps them learn about safety.
It's kind of funny. reminds me of a SNL skit.

And we have been reading this.
It's about your private parts and keeping them safe.
We live in a pretty crazy world and I think it's totally appropriate to read this to your children.I even read it to Asher who is not quite 4. As soon as they can understand, I'm for it.
As I have been sharing this information there have been quite a few who have trusted me and told me they were a victim of this type of abuse or they know a victim.  If it has already happened this can help your child know that it's ok to tell you and then you can respond accordingly and help with healing.  

Teach them or they won't know!

There's my story and things I think that help and are important.

and this is Noah!

Don't eat pork!! EVER!

 Click the link!

http://blog.greensmoothiegirl.com/2012/12/09/do-worms-crawl-out-of-pork/

A Trip To The Temple

 Tonight we went to the St. George temple to see the lights and nativity.

Little blurry but this is the door that we (Heath and I) came out of almost 9 years ago after we were sealed together foooooooreeeeeeeeeeverrrrr!

Yes,  back to blogging. And yesterday was one of the scariest days of my life. Almost lost Noah. Another post on that tomorrow maybe.